The first mother role I played is of stepmom. Is there anything scarier then meeting the children of your significant other? The answer no. You want to impress while remaining calm and hoping for the best. What do they think? Will they like you? Will they hate you? Will they blame you for Daddy not being home? The answer to all is to remain calm, be yourself, and just go with the flow. There are many ups and downs in the role of step parent. In my case, you play the role of mother but you don’t get the credit. The holidays come around like Christmas, Mother’s Day, birthday… and you probably won’t get any acknowledgement until they are much older and you have done your time as a role model. At the end of the day that’s what you are the role model. You still have to remain positive, caring, and supportive. You might not get a lot of support in return because you have to put in your time first. I think it took me three years before the boys even said I love you Diana. It’s hard. Being supportive with their mother is also a role to play. Caring for the children together and being a parental team has the best outcomes. The beginning is so trying. You think over and over is this what I want to deal with in my life. Do I want conflict daily with a mom that doesn’t care for me? Do I want to be involved with children that hate me all day because of what they hear? My answer was easy. I love my husband. I know he is my soul mate. I know he is my family. I knew it from our first date. I knew it would be hard, but I did not care. What ever is his life would be mine. I was determined to be the best role model to these little boys. I was in it for the long haul. Seven years in so far and my husband just found a video of one of the boys who recorded himself for a future YouTube video and he filmed me. While filming me he said “The guest of my show is Diana. There she is. She’s not important. Actually, I lie, she is very important she is in every video I will ever make. She is an important person to me”. Wow. Validation after so many years. The older one also says “I love you Diana” every time he says farewell. Their mother has accepted my support as well. Our relationship is an amicable one. If you are a new step parent and have fears or reservations please know if you put in the time, effort and love it will be reciprocated. I promise. It is not an easy journey but at the end an extra parent is more love. I love them with all my heart and now even though they are not my DNA they are my family.
Sending you all my support.